My family and I have been on a big road trip the last few days starting from our home in St. Paul and covering so far North Dakota, Montana, and Wyoming. As I type this we are driving through the High Desert in Wyoming on I80.
My husband and I just switched drivers after we got off of State Highway 191. If you have ever driven this route, you will understand when I say it’s terrifying. The wind here is off the charts, especially if you are Minnesotan and used to 700 feet above sea level. Even more especially if you are me and don’t like even a little bit when someone else is driving, even your own husband, and even if he actually is a really good driver. I have actually driven most of this trip for this reason. Every single car accident I have ever been in has been the result of someone else’s driving. It’s hard for me to let go and trust that I am safe and that my children are safe even when it’s not me at the wheel.
Titus 2:5 tells us that we are to be self-controlled as women, wives, and mothers. When you have been the woman who has had to lead in order to get out of the mire of a whole host of traumatic challenges, it can be particularly hard to be self-controlled and fulfill the next part of that verse, “…under the control of their husbands…”
For a very long time I had a life that meant if I was not in control, I was not safe. If I was not in control, bills wouldn’t get paid. If I was not in control, food wouldn’t be in the refrigerator. If I was not in control, any number of really bad things could happen that would set my life into a tailspin simply because I allowed someone else control.
I have a husband that a lot of women would envy. He is a convert to the faith and in order to help him become the husband that God wants him to be, as a Catholic Christian wife, I am called to be self- controlled AND to submit to the control of my husband. Trusting that he has the same care and concern that I have for my safety and the safety of our family gives him the same trust that I have in him that our bills will be paid, we will have a home, and our bellies will be full. Not trusting him in any one of these areas has the potential to put a strain on the other areas as well.
We are driving to Denver right now and there will be more mountain passes; lots of them. I think I will sit in the passenger seat this time and take in the view instead of missing out by worrying about whether or not I am safe. I am. My husband is driving.