The following is an open letter to the mother of a girl my daughter got tangled up with. I am writing this so that I don’t write to her and tell her all of the awful things I am feeling about her… that I have confessed to my priest, and likely already need to confess again.
The LGBTQ agenda seeks nothing but harm for your children. Don’t be fooled by it. Don’t acquiesce to it’s pronoun demands, or the notion that one can change sex. We can’t. Gender is a word used for language, to assign quality to inanimate objects, not people. Your biological sex is all that matters.
If you are in a situation where this ideology is gripping your minor child, do everything you can to get them away from it and the people who will harm them. It happens fast too.
Dear Mother of My Daughter’s “Trans” Friend,
You don’t know me. We have never met. I tried to message you and your (ex?) husband once last year with some concerns about your daughter. I tried again this past autumn. I got a phone call, which I returned to a full voicemail box. I sent a text and got a reply of “I work a lot, so I don’t have time to talk.” Then I never heard anything else from you.
The first time I reached out, I did so with a lot of motherly concern for your daughter. My daughter had befriended J. Doing my due diligence, I made sure to look in my daughter’s phone at J’s social media so I knew a little more about her. My heart sunk. This poor girl. She posted memes on her Instagram about being ugly, about being fat and having an eating disorder (and she is maybe 100 pounds soaking wet?) Memes about suicidal thoughts, and gender dysphoria and thinking she is a boy. I saw tumblr memes, and she seemed to like to draw too. She made a lot of pictures of different anime type characters that she created. All of them had a lot of tragedy attached to them. In my concern, I took screen shots. I sent them to you and your husband, copying my own husband into the message. We saw that you saw the message. You never responded. We also sent them to the school principal just in case you didn’t see the messages right away given Facebook’s message filtering.
At that same time, we told our daughter, “We know you like J and care about her. That’s good, but she has some troubles that her parents need to address with a professional. You can’t help her and it’s not your responsibility.” She understood and we didn’t hear anything else about J until this past autumn.
When she came back into the picture I didn’t actually recognize her at first. She looked very different. She was very boy like, but also very little girl at the same time, even at just 13 years old. I reasserted the boundary that we made with our daughter. That’s when I messaged you again, with more concerns based on EVEN MORE instagram images and messages. You didn’t want to hear any of it I guess.
Months later, I have taken my daughter out of school.
The principle reason?
Your daughter and your unwillingness to address your daughter’s mental health have turned my loving daughter into a shadow of herself. She smiles a lot less now. Her humor has grown dark. She is angry and short all of the time, and more than the usual 14 year old angst. She purposefully failed classes just to sit next to your daughter in school. My gifted and talented genius of a daughter failed classes on purpose. That is not normal and it happened in the blink of an eye.
Your daughter cuts herself… and convinced my daughter to do the same. Your daughter talks badly about herself… and now my daughter is mirroring that. Your daughter acts like my daughter is Harley Quinn and your daughter is the Joker. There is nothing normal at all about ANY of that.
I screamed to my husband “I HATE THOSE PEOPLE! I HATE THEM FOR THIS! HOW DARE THEY DO THIS TO THEIR DAUGHTER AND ALLOW HER TO DO IT TO OURS! I HATE THEM!” I have resisted the urge to send you a message RAGING at you for doing this to your daughter, who then did it to mine. WHAT KIND OF MOTHER ARE YOU!? What the HELL is the matter with you!? Why are you so warped and wrapped up in yourself that you would allow this to happen to your daughter and do NOTHING to stop it!? What sort of self involved monster do you have to be to see this occurring and DO NOTHING to prevent it!?
While you may not be interested in helping your mentally ill daughter, I refuse to sit idle and allow my daughter to fall any further into self loathing, self harming, destructive, divisive behaviours. I love her too damn much. Your social credit seems to mean more to you than your child and I am more angry than I can say about that. The ideology that is driving the life of your daughter…and she IS your daughter, not your son…is more important to you than her. That ideology isn’t going to get my daughter though. I refuse to allow it.
So my daughter is home now. She is safe now. Her moments of every day are logged and tracked by me. I make sure she takes her vitamins, drinks water, gets exercise, gets enough rest — but not too much, eats healthy food, and says her prayers along with the rest of her brothers and sisters. I make sure she knows she is seen and loved for the beautiful, vibrant, funny, witty, intelligent, vivacious, unstoppable force that she REALLY is. It’s been only a couple of days and she already seems lighter. She doesn’t seem to be carrying the weight your daughter put on her heart. She seems relieved to not have the burden or worry anymore.
She showed me her scars. She let me hold her and drip my tears on them, rub them with rose oil and then bless her with holy water. She wrote in her journal (where I found all of this out) that she doesn’t want this. She doesn’t want to hurt herself. She was doing it because of who she really is… a girl who loves and cares deeply for others. She didn’t want your daughter to be alone in her misery… and misery LOVES its company like a Borderline LOVES an easy mark.
“The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”-John 1:5
I am going to let go of my anger at you… and make no mistake, this is all your fault. Your daughter’s self harm is your fault. You are allowing her to hurt herself. I am going to pray for her, and I am going to fix the damage she did to my daughter in the name of ideology. You and the ideology you coddle don’t get to win my child. She is claimed by a King, loved by His Holy Mother, and has me for a mother.